Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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