Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
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