Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize