Pappa wants mamma naked
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
