Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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