why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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