We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
