love makes seman taste better
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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