he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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