I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
