We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
