is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
