Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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