do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
