I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
