Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
