Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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