you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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