I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I love you.
Bad choice
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