Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
