Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I think I died a long time ago.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
