No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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