so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
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Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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