I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
