I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
