There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize