Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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