haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
