Your dad touched me again.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
