i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
