Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
