I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
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It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
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You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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