I wish my penis had an off switch
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
