So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
