ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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