We won't sleep together?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Boobs are out for the taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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