Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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