why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
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