can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
