The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
