Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
so let's talk penis.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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