Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
