Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
