just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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