I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
