Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Why did my mother make you get naked?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
