I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
