He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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