just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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