Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
