I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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