So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
