I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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