I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
