you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
