so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
