I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Found your dick twin last night
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
