dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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