That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
