id be glad to
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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