oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
