thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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