your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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